Luscious, fruity goodness in every sip!

Time for Christmas Wine and Holiday Stemware!

Christmas at Biltmore

(I've not quite mastered the Instagram thing, but it's fun, and I love anything to do with The Biltmore House, a place I am going to visit for Christmas! I cannot wait! And it's a delicious wine!)

"Mom! I want to watch the Green Grizzard!"

(I think she means The Grinch)

Ethan, My Little Artist

Proud of my little rascal! But oddly poor Sponge Bob has fallen out of favor with a lot of kids these days.  When asked if he was going to take this to school to show his friends, Ethan said: "Oh no! Nobody likes Sponge Bob anymore!" Wow! Never thought this day would come.

Love him or hate him, Sponge Bob has been immortalized by the hand of my 9 yr old!

Published in Asheboro's Courier-Tribune

Oh No She Di'int!

Hannah: "Mom, if you move my blankie, I'll....."
Me: "Girly, are you talking to me, or somebody else??!!!"
Hannah (now looking appropriately terrified): "Umm...somebody else?"
Me: "Yes, yes, I thought so."

Oh no she di'int!

Good Grief

Anybody else watch Miami Housewives while blogging? Or should I say Drunken Miami Housewives? It's a train wreck, but I can't stop watching!!

Good Grief

A 4 yr Old's Christmas Tree Vision

Hannah's very proud of this!

Taledega Nights at the Just Save with Ethan-Bobby and Ricky-Hannah

Ok, as promised, here's an oldie but goodie.

Sometimes I am forced to take my two subjects to the grocery store, against my better judgement. Before entering the store I threaten life and limb for even having thoughts of misbehaving in any way, shape or form. 

Upon entering the store, Ricky-Hannah grabs a tiny little "customer-in-training" cart and Ethan-Bobby gets one of those half-sized carts. Suddenly they both get the "crazy-eye" as they envision the aisles at the Just-Save, a local grocery store,becoming the Ramseur MotorSpeedway. Dear God, what have I done?! 

However, my previous threats have make somewhat of an impact, because they limit their racing to short bursts of speed only when my back is turned. Now Ethan-Bobby and Ricky-Hannah are super competitive, and insist that they each get the exact same number of items in their carts, which resulted in a little "rubbing" accompanied by some loudly WHISPERED smack-talk, since neither want to feel the wrath of mom. 

The hilarity of the whole scenario was almost to much to bear with a straight face, for myself and other random shoppers. We finished our shopping and Ethan-Bobby and Ricky-Hannah managed to avoid the "Big One". I thought having a girl and a boy 5 yrs apart would reduce the whole competition thing......Boy was I wrong!

A Baseball Christmas

You know your kid is "eat up" with Baseball, when half of his Christmas list contains baseball equipment. Good thing, because he just made one of our local travel teams. He was so exited! Yay Ethan! Baby girlfriend Hannah has recently decided to quit Dance and play ball too. They are sooo competitive! I don't call them Ricky-Hannah and Ethan-Bobby for no reason. I'll be sure to post that story soon!

I Don't Want To Grow Up!

Hannah: "Mom! I don't want to grow up, because I don't want holes in my ears! It'll hurt!"
Me: "But earrings are so pretty!"

Thank You khanacademy.org

Thank you khanacademy.org for proving to my 4th grader that I did not single-handedly create long division as a tool, just to torture him.

Why do public schools hate standard algorithms? They will teach a kid 5 different methods to calculate 456 divided by 4, except for the most obvious, efficient, and internationally accepted method. This results in a kid being utterly confused and frustrated. Not to mention, complete elimination of the parent as a potential tutor.

I'm told, that according to the Common Core Curriculum, the standard algorithm for long division will not be taught until 6th grade, 5th grade multiplication, 4th grade subtraction, and 3rd grade addition. TOO LATE! Long division encourages facility with not only division, but also multiplication and subtraction, not to mention  fractions. I had higher hopes for the Common Core Curriculum. Kids have to have a handle on all four functions before 5th grade. Mathematical geniuses have given us standard algorithms because WE are NOT mathematical geniuses. 

Unbelievable!

Traditional Southern Style Christmas Dinners

Here's a tip from a southern woman who appreciates healthy alternatives:
Do NOT deviate from the already established southern, traditional foods served at a family Christmas dinner. 

Your once loving family members will fight you to the death, and riot in your front yard, to preserve their beloved mac-n-cheese, sweet potatoe casserole, green bean casserole, crockpot pintos with ham hocks, biscuits, collard greens, turkey and potatoe salad.  And don't forget the bucket of KFC, because who doesn't love KFC? This cartoon is hilarious to me as my people and I try to finagle the holiday menu each year.

Heed this Warning, or be relentlessly ridiculed and accused of abandoning your roots and gettin all fancy! 

Sweet Silence and Stinky Brother

Ahhhh, the sweet silence of an empty house on a Monday morning. 12s (12hr shifts) at the Corporation are tuff, and Monday morning school prep is tuffer. Hannah was walking out the door with her Rosie Kitty stuffed animal and Ethan happened to walk by so she says: "My kitty doesn't smell good anymore because Ethan walked by!" My poor little Pig-Pen, funny thing is, he just couldn't care less.

My Beautiful White Christmas Tree!

Decorators: Ethan, Hannah, and Mama (Yes, that's a Santa hat on top, the star we had was too heavy. By the way, each ornament can be bounced off the floor, or thrown across the room and not break!)

Exterior Decor

So I'm on my way to do my 12s (12 hr shifts) at the Corporation and I noticed very few houses have begun exterior Christmas decoration. Come on people! Don't make me go to your house and unpack all that crap for ya!  The subjects (my kids and their Deddy), and I made it all happen yesterday! Merry Christmas!

Yoga

I miss yoga. Makes me less insane. I'll get back to it.

Stinky Brother

Hannah: Mom, come play with me in my room!
Ethan: I'll come play!
Hannah: No! You'll stink up my room!

Black Friday Activities

Yes I did get my fake, prelit, white, iridescent Christmas tree for 60% off!!! BAM!!!! Now, this Black Friday I didn't participate fully, like I normally do, because our family economics have been on a downward trend. I wasn't happy about it and next year, the "Christmas Fund" will be in full swing. But this year, Layaway ROCKS! And my subjects, and I spent some good, quality family time, doing the turkey/Christmas decor thing. Good Times!

Merry Thanksgiving to All!

I'm glad I put on my big girl jeans today. I'm fancy like that.
Merry Thanksgiving to All, and To All a Good Stuff!
Stuff it....Stuff it REAL good!

Believe it.

First Law of Familydynamics

As an investigator of the natural world, I have discovered what I like to call the "First Law of Familydynamics". It simply states that the orderliness of a household is directly proportional to the number of adult males and children who reside there.

As we all know, entropy (generally, the tendency toward disorder) is a force to be reckoned with, and must be valiantly fought every day, all day. It takes a fair amount of activation energy to overcome the energy barrier that entropy seems to create.

Knowing this is actually comforting, because like bathing or exercising, cleaning up after your messy family must be done constantly and consistently. Just because other people don't do it, doesn't mean that you shouldn't. And it is quite simply a law of nature to be considered, not complained about. With that in mind, I shall have no guilt in swiftly disposing crap into garbage bags, or holding ransom, specific items that someone may hold dear. Entropy sucks!

Sunrise from my back porch.

http://instagr.am/p/SQJKvuyt0g/

Miracles Happen

My darling baby 4 yr girl cleaned her room, OF HER OWN VOLITION! Just when you think you have no reason to live, a miracle happens!

Christmas Wine

Thank you dear little baby Jesus, for Christmas wine,  as it is sometimes, the only means by which mamas cope,  during the holidays.

An awesome photo that looks eerily and exactly like Ethan and his Aunt Vicki. I love it!

http://instagr.am/p/SOb8PAyt73/

So baby girl Hannah has pneumonia! However fever now gone and is playing barbies. On to the next crisis! Good Luck to my Ethan the Rascal, he has baseball tryouts today. Boy, go DO what you DO!

Ok, let me just get this out if my system, CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS HERE AND IT's FABULOUS! Don't be hatin!

Musings of a 4 yr old

"Mama, I didn't know water is so important!" Bless her little heart.

My Nephew's Science Project: The Liver Cell

This is 15 year old nephew, Ryan's, science project, a model and presentation of the Liver Cell, complete with organelles. He and his dedicated mama used a little styrofoam and clay to represent one of the most profound examples of teamwork in existence. So proud of him! Any functional unit of teamwork such as a family, city, state, or country could use the cell as a model for efficient operation. Each part/organelle/person has a special job or function toward the greater good of the whole. Science Rocks!

I hate Entropy!

Random

Random

So my 9 yr old says, "Dad, you're on duty tomorrow, you're taking the Devil (my 4 yr old daughter ) on a field trip!"......Wow.

In the Beginning

Alright, so this is my place. Be prepared, the existential craze can be contained no longer. Especially after a glass, or three of my special wine pick of the week. Tee Hee!

Anyway, I'm a mother, wife, buffoon, and natural scientist. I work a 12 hr weekend shift at the "Corporation", hunting for viruses, so that I can be with my family during the week. It's an intense and awesome schedule. I don't miss a thing. But! I am constantly perplexed, on a daily basis, about why my subjects (kids and husband), will not follow my logical and explicit plans for daily operations. 

Hence, wine and this blog! I will be rambling a little or a lot about everything. Between my little comedians and the IT professional/Deddy, I laugh it up every day!