Swindler or Future Politician?

Hannah:    Mom will you buy me a toy?
Me:  No
Hannah:    Mom will you please buy me a toy?
Me:  No
Hannah:   Mom will you PLEASE buy me a toy?
Me:   No
Hannah:   I'll give you $300 if you buy me a toy.
Me:   Show it to me
Hannah:   Buy me the toy first.
Me:   Show me the money first.
Hannah:   Buy me the toy first.
Me:   SHOW ME THE MONEY!
Hannah:   I don't have any money, I was just trying to get you to buy me a toy.
AH HAAHH!
Me:   Hannah, that's not very nice, not to mention dishonest (as a parent you have to occasionally run your own STING operation to get vital INTEL.)

So...Swindler or Future Politician? You should know that genetic influence is at play, here.  Her brother, has the most "money" in his class. Theoretically this "money" serves as a good behavior incentive, through which the kids receive prizes from the treasure chest. Apparently my precious little Ethan is running a black market of sorts, I like to call it Ethan-bay. He's a rock collector and has been selling like items for "money". Apparently there a number of repeat customers.

When asked whether his Teacher would think it odd that he had acquired a small fortune of "money" without earning it through positive behavior and good deeds, he (like many 9yr old males living fast, and in the moment) just looked at me like a deer in headlights. 

A+  for completing objective
D-   for critical thinking.

I'll tell Grandma on him, I think he AND Hannah need a little extra Jesus this Sunday.

Is it True???

Is it true?.....Am I really all alone in my house? Really? Truly? Are the kids really BOTH at school? No rain, hail, sleet, snow, fevers, pukes, dooks, snot, tears, phantom pains.....surely they must be hiding somewhere in this house ....No? In that case, excuse me while I bask in the gloriousness (I know not a word, I like it, leave me alone) of my solitude and jasmine tea!

Meanwhile, earlier, back at the Ranch.....
Hannah:  Mom, why is "Why" such a good question?
Me: Indeed, my little existential girl! Indeed!

Source: fleurdulys.tumblr.com via Debra on Pinterest

Friday Night Breakfast

So Husband cooked us a delicious breakfast of omelets, waffles with strawberries/powdered sugar and bacon tonight! I think I would love this as a permanent Friday night supper! Maybe next time I'll mix up some delightful orange Mimosas!

Note that when I suggested this, Husband looked at me like, "Oh, I'm not going through all this every Friday night!"

Christmas is still Happening!

I posted these huge pics so that you could really experience the essence of this. So we're shopping at Target and we get out of the car and then this.......please Dear God don't let the owner of this fine vehicle see me take these pics, because I HAVE to do this. 

Notice the strategically placed fire extinguisher sticking out from the pile of junk in the backseat. I'm sure this organizational system makes perfect sense to the driver of this vehicle. Looks like my son's room and reminds my of my brothers's room, when we were growing up.

Yes I am probably as big a freak as the driver of this car for posting these (you can actually see me in the reflection on the window, taking the pic...what an idiot!) No offense fellow freakster! 

Fly your flag proudly!

Source: via Christy on Pinterest

Running Errands with My Mom -- Cartoon Network

Existential Quotes for the Day

“One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand.” 
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

"I can't go on, I'll go on" -Samuel Beckett  (I especially love this)

No Mom!

Source: someecards.com via momsnewstage on Pinterest

I have to call you Grandma!

Hannah:  Mom! I have to call you Grandma, because you're making me wear socks!

Neither of my kids are fond of clothing, socks, or shoes, and quite frankly, when they're inside the house I just don't bother with it, anymore. But, Hannah's been sick recently so I'm forcing her to wear pants and socks. Now, Grandma insists that she wear socks and shoes at her house, because they keep their house at a balmy 68. So.... now I'm Grandma.

Pull yourself together woman!

Ever been so tired that you question your ability to put on black eyeliner.....or when you're at a green light and it's too much work to press the gas pedal......good thing I'm working today, I'd probably let my kids take over the world ......they can sense weakness....Pull yourself together woman!

Attention All Southerners: Storm of the Century

Considering that the Storm of the Century is about to be upon us, and as Vice Assistant General Manager in Charge of Certain Things (a recently self-appointed position that I am taking very seriously), I highly recommend that you burn the roads up to your local discount food mart and purchase as much bread, milk, and necessary survival items as possible (maybe pick up a rifle or two). God knows we could be trapped in our homes for weeks, maybe months. We'll probably have to shoot our way out.

- This, coming to you live from the Vice Assistant General Manager in Charge of Certain Things      (sorry, I'm drunk with power)

For Real

Oh come on! This IS funny!

Wisdom of Sponge Bob

So I'm watching Sponge Bob, because my kids STILL love him, and he mentioned that he was the "Vice Assistant General Manager in Charge of Certain Things". Soak that in people. Don't think I'm not going to work that in to every conversation that I have at work, for the next several weeks. I laughed for a good 11 minutes.

Then Patrick was attempting to teach Sponge Bob's cousin how to do "nothing". As this was unsuccessful, Patrick accused the cousin of not being worthy of the "Art of Immobility".

Yes....this is my life.

What Hannah wants to be when she grows up

Baby girl's gonna be 5 years old tomorrow, so I took her out for an early birthday breakfast, and some big girl conversation. Here goes:

Me:   So Hannah, you're going to be the big 5 tomorrow! What do you want to be when you grow up? (too early, maybe?)
Hannah:    Nothing. (with an air of casual nonchalance)
Me:    Nothing? Why?
Hannah:    Oh, it's just too much work.

WOW! Growing up IS too much work, isn't it? She's a forty year old trapped in 5 year old's body. I can't say that I blame her, the thought of going through all that with the kids, in the coming years, makes me want to take a nap. But I'm sure by the time they are in their 20's, they'll be going 120 (mph), with their hair on fire! Just like we did, back in the day.

But alas, old mom and dad will most likely be cheering them on from the comfort of the couch. Remote in one hand, and a delicious beverage in the other. "Go team Hannah! Go team Ethan!"

Oh Look..

Source: dumpaday.com via Noreen on Pinterest

Ha! This is how I'm going to get out of jury duty.

Source: imgfave.com via Amy on Pinterest

Ha Ha! You Must Be....

No, Grandma, listen....

Source: Uploaded by user via Roland on Pinterest

My Picky Peops loved this meatloaf!

Source: recipefirst.blogspot.com via Nova on Pinterest

....while we fight!

Trying to cook supper AND supervising 2 little rascally devils will drive a woman to drink:

Hannah: Mom, I want something to eat!
Me: No, it'll ruin your dinner, just wait.
Hannah: But Mom! Me and Ethan need snacks and drink while we fight!

Of course, how silly of me.

You never know...

Ethan: Mama hurry, type in the code so I can download this app, I need as many games and apps for our field trip in April, as I can get.
Me: But that's 4 months away.
Ethan: I know, but you never know what life's gonna give you...

True 'dat, little man...True 'dat!

Cause it's Delightful!

Malbec and Gouda for supper.....cause it's delightful.

.......meanwhile, back at the ranch, Hannah decides gets out of her bath, naked, and tells me that she wants to throw Ken's (as in Barbie and...) shoe away in the trash can. Just the one shoe. "Why?" I say, and she says: "cause I don't like it"....wow, how does one either like or dislike the right shoe of a Ken doll?

Also, Ethan just asked me for nail clippers, because of the "little daggers" on his feet.....good times.

Why in the World.....

Source: someecards.com via You Know it Happens on Pinterest

I love Street Art! This should be named: "Exploration"

Source: flickr.com via Tracey on Pinterest

Great Hero Story, (Ed actually died at 80, back in 2008)

Source: ebaumsworld.com via Jim on Pinterest

Cause That's How Hannah Rolls!

Hannah hates socks, shoes, and clothes for that matter, and I noticed that she was wearing her boots with her socks off her feet and bunched up in the toe portion of the boot. Silly me, but I thought this was odd so:

Me: Hannah, why are you.....wearing your socks off your feet, yet in the boot? 

Hannah: That's right Mama! Cause that's how I roll!

Someone's been hanging out with her older brother and his friends.