Sunday, December 30, 2012
Happy New Year's Eve, Eve!
Haaayyy! Mama's having a champagne cocktail, and later a caviar dream (in other words, an orange juice mimosa and bed at 11pm, still awesome!)
New Year's Eve, Eve is for the most advanced Holiday celebreteurs!
Crappy Day at the Corporation
Crappy ear buds have contributed to a most unpleasurable Pandora experience, at the Corporation today. It's the little things....ya know?
Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
A Fox Family Christmas 2012
The Fox Family Christmas 2012! This year, we kicked off the season with the Biltmore House Christmas Candlelight Tour, something I've wanted to do for years, and it did not disappoint! The experience was beautiful, gorgeous, fantastic, and perfect (check out my instagram photos in the side bar). And staying in the most perfect little cabin in Asheville, was the icing on the cake.
Family, friends, and Hannah's pink-eye (yes, that's right, pink-eye) came and went, and so did my sanity, periodically. Christmas day was great, except for when Ethan got up at 4am, at which point we said, "No...just no...." 5am rolled around, and we finally caved...somebody gimme some bean! (coffee)
After our blood pressures stabilized, we had a fun and relaxing day. The Kindle Fires were a hit, especially with my 9yr old! So, I took some silly pictures (see above) and we played, we giggled, we ate, made mimosas and watched A Christmas Story over and over, (Ralphie's mom is the best!), and I lounged around in my new, red, Christmas bathrobe complete with Christmas socks, all day! While the above photo doesn't convey this, our resident IT professional also had a fun day! hahahaha!
On Christmas Eve night, my special little snowflake (Ethan) and I had a conversation about gift giving, etc..., and we came to the conclusion that Jesus was the one who should be getting gifts, after all it's his birthday!
So, while Christmas time can be hectic and crazy, ultimately great family, friends and fabulous Christmas music make it easy for me to love every minute of it! By the way, next time you get a craving for iced, decorated sugar cookies, consider the photo below, as it may influence your decision!
So, while Christmas time can be hectic and crazy, ultimately great family, friends and fabulous Christmas music make it easy for me to love every minute of it! By the way, next time you get a craving for iced, decorated sugar cookies, consider the photo below, as it may influence your decision!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
Tis the Season for Pink-eye!
Nothing like a little pink-eye on Christmas Eve.
Yes! That's right! My 4yr old has the pink-eye on Christmas Eve!
SUPER-DUPER!
But it's a simple call-in prescription, never fear Mom is here! The devil will NOT spoil Christmas, no sireeee!
Friday, December 14, 2012
Mommy's Special Snowflake
This school morning was going surprisingly well, when I noticed that my 9 yr old male subject was sitting on the couch with his baseball sliding shorts on, (sliding shorts, underwear what's the difference) socks and shoes, and nothing else. Just sitting there.
Me: Darling precious, did you put on your shoes before you put on your clothes?
Ethan: What? (looks down, noticing himself) Oh....yeah.....(giggle, giggle)
For the love of all that is holy in this world.
Me: Darling precious, did you put on your shoes before you put on your clothes?
Ethan: What? (looks down, noticing himself) Oh....yeah.....(giggle, giggle)
For the love of all that is holy in this world.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
For the Love of All That is Holy in This World
I feel compelled to re-post this after yet another school morning of attempting to get my 9 yr old male ready for school. If I didn't already have documented proof of his mental acuity, I would have him tested, because let me tell you, he is one special snowflake.
I don't even tell him to get up, or set a clock as these are utterly ineffective. I usually drag him out of bed, stand him upright and point him to the bathroom for a shower. Oddly, this tactic is most effective as I get zero resistance. But alas, it is the easiest part of the morning, and let me just say that I've tried charts, graphs, incentives, beatings, rantings, and gnashing of teeth but to little or no avail. Here's a sample of our routine:
Me: Ethan wash your hair and use soap! (repeat 3x)
Me: Ethan get out of the shower! (repeat 3x)
Me: (Sniff test with questionably results) Ethan get your clothes on! (repeat 456x, the shower effect usually renders him catatonic, I don't know if it's the warm coziness of the water/steam or....I don't even know what...
Me: Eat! (repeat 3x)
Me: Go brush your teeth! (repeat 3x)
Me: Alright everybody MOVE OUT! (the door)
Me: Ethan go back and get your bookbag! (e-v-e-r-y d-a-y)
Me: Ethan, what's the first thing you do when you get into a vehicle?
Ethan: Huh? What? Oh yeah!! (eureka! e-v-e-r-y d-a-y)
Now, as an observer of the natural world, I am amazed at how this kid experiences each day, anew, with no prior knowledge or memory of the previous day...hmmm...a curious phenomenon. His grandparents say, "Oh, he's just so busy, his mind is somewhere else." Yeah, somewhere in special snowflake land, bless his little heart.
However, this morning was different in that his father was to take him to school. The routine went as usual except for the bookbag part. Both males exited the home, got into the vehicle....and there I stood on the sidewalk, bookbag in hand waiting to see if it would occur to either of them that the bookbag should even be a part of this little dog and pony show.
Ethan looks out the window at me and for a moment has a puzzled look on his face...wait for it....wait for it.......and....there it is, I actually saw the light bulb in his little head. Then it all became clear as mud to me, as I reflected upon the power of genetic inheritance in familial relationships.
Sometimes you just have to accept the limitations of your special snowflakeS. (as I write this, my 4 yr has spilled a cup of lemonade, a cup of water, and a container of some other such liquid, kill me now, but I digress.)
Yes, he's an honor roll student, yes he placed second in his elementary school spelling bee, and I'm pretty sure he knows more about meteorology than a professional meteorologist, but I do worry about his ability to perhaps one day function as a college student, or maybe even, dare I say, a responsible adult. So every day I pray a little prayer...For the love of all that is holy in this world, please let him get through middle school, high school, and into college!
Bless his little heart.
Me: Ethan wash your hair and use soap! (repeat 3x)
Me: Ethan get out of the shower! (repeat 3x)
Me: (Sniff test with questionably results) Ethan get your clothes on! (repeat 456x, the shower effect usually renders him catatonic, I don't know if it's the warm coziness of the water/steam or....I don't even know what...
Me: Eat! (repeat 3x)
Me: Go brush your teeth! (repeat 3x)
Me: Alright everybody MOVE OUT! (the door)
Me: Ethan go back and get your bookbag! (e-v-e-r-y d-a-y)
Me: Ethan, what's the first thing you do when you get into a vehicle?
Ethan: Huh? What? Oh yeah!! (eureka! e-v-e-r-y d-a-y)
Now, as an observer of the natural world, I am amazed at how this kid experiences each day, anew, with no prior knowledge or memory of the previous day...hmmm...a curious phenomenon. His grandparents say, "Oh, he's just so busy, his mind is somewhere else." Yeah, somewhere in special snowflake land, bless his little heart.
However, this morning was different in that his father was to take him to school. The routine went as usual except for the bookbag part. Both males exited the home, got into the vehicle....and there I stood on the sidewalk, bookbag in hand waiting to see if it would occur to either of them that the bookbag should even be a part of this little dog and pony show.
Ethan looks out the window at me and for a moment has a puzzled look on his face...wait for it....wait for it.......and....there it is, I actually saw the light bulb in his little head. Then it all became clear as mud to me, as I reflected upon the power of genetic inheritance in familial relationships.
Sometimes you just have to accept the limitations of your special snowflakeS. (as I write this, my 4 yr has spilled a cup of lemonade, a cup of water, and a container of some other such liquid, kill me now, but I digress.)
Yes, he's an honor roll student, yes he placed second in his elementary school spelling bee, and I'm pretty sure he knows more about meteorology than a professional meteorologist, but I do worry about his ability to perhaps one day function as a college student, or maybe even, dare I say, a responsible adult. So every day I pray a little prayer...For the love of all that is holy in this world, please let him get through middle school, high school, and into college!
Bless his little heart.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Thankschristmasgiving Lesson: Don't be a Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins
Well, we did it. Got it all done complete with turkey, KFC and a bushel of oysters, compliments of our coastal peops, and with only a bit of blood shed. Now we did have "men down", as they waged their own private battle against the evil viral forces, but overall it was great fun.
Amid the Pre-Thankschristmasgiving prep, which of course is chaotic, my 9yr old asked me a strange question:
Ethan: Mom, what's your biggest regret?
Me: (oh good Lord!) Uuummmmm....jeez where do I start.....
Ethan: Is it having kids?
Me: Whaaat?! Heavens No I've always been a sucker for torture! Besides, just the other day I was the "best mama ever!" Good Grief. Nevertheless, I was haunted by his comment. Now seriously, both of my precious love muffins were not only planned, but immensely loved, even when only mere thoughts! I DO regret having some fairly odd personality traits that keep me from getting the "Mom of the Year Award" and it's my cross to bear but it doesn't keep me from trying like hell!
Sooo...in the words of my wise little 4yr old: "BE COOL MAN!" Because like Santa, your kids are watching YOU! .....and alway remember....
Amid the Pre-Thankschristmasgiving prep, which of course is chaotic, my 9yr old asked me a strange question:
Ethan: Mom, what's your biggest regret?
Me: (oh good Lord!) Uuummmmm....jeez where do I start.....
Ethan: Is it having kids?
Me: Whaaat?! Heavens No I've always been a sucker for torture! Besides, just the other day I was the "best mama ever!" Good Grief. Nevertheless, I was haunted by his comment. Now seriously, both of my precious love muffins were not only planned, but immensely loved, even when only mere thoughts! I DO regret having some fairly odd personality traits that keep me from getting the "Mom of the Year Award" and it's my cross to bear but it doesn't keep me from trying like hell!
Sooo...in the words of my wise little 4yr old: "BE COOL MAN!" Because like Santa, your kids are watching YOU! .....and alway remember....
Friday, December 7, 2012
School Mornings in Crazytown
Ethan: I dreamed I had a chainsaw, and I was fighting Zombies!
Me: Did you win?
Ethan: I was about too, then you woke me up!
Moms ruin everything.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Help me Dear, Little, Baby Jesus get it all done before tomorrow!
So my part in the Criscoe Family Thankschristmasgiving is:
- mac n cheese
- collard greens
- Buckeye Balls
- Oreo Trifle Deliciousness
- Spinach Artichoke Dip with Pita Chips
Again, Dear Little Baby Jesus, help me get it all done. This might not seem like a lot for one woman, but for me.....well, like my 9 yr. old, I'm easily distracted.
- mac n cheese
- collard greens
- Buckeye Balls
- Oreo Trifle Deliciousness
- Spinach Artichoke Dip with Pita Chips
Again, Dear Little Baby Jesus, help me get it all done. This might not seem like a lot for one woman, but for me.....well, like my 9 yr. old, I'm easily distracted.
"I don't know what to say! It's Christmas, we're all in Misery!"
Oh come on! This IS funny! Thought I would waste time here, while my list of "stuff" to do/clean/shop, by tomorrow grows exponentially. It's fun to add extra layers of stress, but then again, that's what Holiday Mimosas are for. My people are celebrating what I like to call "Thankschristmasgiving". Keeps us all from being economically hit twice in two months. I think it's genius. Groceries and gas will put you in the poor house. Now don't get me wrong, it's going to be a blast, but as you well know, event prep is hell. Okay, fun time is over, pardon me while I go have a tiny panic attack. By the way, my kids will come home, see the cleanliness and say, "Who's coming over?"
Down with Entropy!
Down with Entropy!
A Blankie in the Face
On our way to school this morning:
Hannah: Mom I want my blankie! (I throw it to her, she's sitting behind me)
Hannah: Mom! Don't slam me in the face!
Me: Well Hannah, I'm trying to drive here.
Ethan: Hannah, would you rather have a blankie slammed in your face, or get into a car wreck?
Hannah: I want my Blankie, not slammed in my face!
Ethan: That's not a choice.
My Ethan, ever the realist.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
A Royal Baby! So Ethan Says....
This morning, on our way to school, we're be-boppin along to our local Christmas music station, and the radio guy interrupts with an announcement that Princess Kate is finally going to have a baby! I'm beside myself, because Hannah and I watched the fabulous wedding, more than once. So here goes:
Me: Hannah! Princess Kate is going to have a baby princess! (immediately, I think dear God, what pandora's box have I opened!)
Hannah: I want to have a baby! (Gahhh! Here it comes!)
Me: You can, after you graduate from college and get married. (wait for it...)
Hannah: But I want one now, just for me! (of course)
So Ethan Says: No Hannah, mama and deddy can't handle another one, besides if they have another one they won't play with you as much! (There it is, kids are keen observers of the natural world, good, bad, or crazy.)
Hannah: Well when I have one, I'm going to name her Bella! (such a girly)
Me: Hannah! Princess Kate is going to have a baby princess! (immediately, I think dear God, what pandora's box have I opened!)
Hannah: I want to have a baby! (Gahhh! Here it comes!)
Me: You can, after you graduate from college and get married. (wait for it...)
Hannah: But I want one now, just for me! (of course)
So Ethan Says: No Hannah, mama and deddy can't handle another one, besides if they have another one they won't play with you as much! (There it is, kids are keen observers of the natural world, good, bad, or crazy.)
Hannah: Well when I have one, I'm going to name her Bella! (such a girly)
Entropy Strikes Again!
So last night I threw away 4 garbage bags of......crap, while wading through clothes, toys, marshmallows, and an assortment of sports equipment, last night. It looked like an episode of Hoarder's! Except that the hoarder was a fairly optimistic and happy kid and the patient organizer was a ranting, maniacal mom muttering about one day being featured on the show Hoarders or having the Health Department come in to condemn the place.
I probably shouldn't have thrown away the keyboard or the pencil box, but it's a slippery slope, I tell ya. You start 2nd guessing your waste removal decisions and next thing you know you're pooping in Walmart bags, feeding your pet rats cat food, and walking on 6 feet of junk! But Ethan, myself, and a nice glass of sweet Shiraz once again defeated the evil forces of Entropy, for at least another day!
Monday, December 3, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
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